Steve and I found this job very difficult. Considering we both love music it was a bigger task than we thought it would be and I am not sure we got it right. In fact sometimes I can’t remember which song we picked. I know it was the Beach Boys, I can never remember if it was “God only knows” or “wouldn’t it be nice”.
I think we put too much pressure on the idea of a first dance being the sum up point of the day and of us as a couple. Unless we picked the right song, credible yet sentimental, but definitely not soppy, we were doomed to failure and people would laugh. Ridiculous I realise, especially as we don’t really have the same taste in music, (except the Foo Fighters, but Steve has no choice in this if he wants to stay married to me), it doesn’t make us any less of a couple, I realise this now. At the time, we over thought it, looked in too many places, read too many lyrics and ended up picking a song we both liked but neither loved.
Our 2nd dance song should have been our first. On our first full weekend together we stayed in our PJ’s all day and watched a very silly film called “Hot Rod” cementing my own love for Andy Samberg and the beginning of our coupledom. One sequence in the film featured the song “You’re The Voice” by John Farnham. I won’t go into detail, you should watch the film, but we laughed and laughed, then rewound it and laughed some more. It is our song not because it is an excellent piece of music from a wonderful musician but it always makes both of us remember that excitement of new love and finding someone who really gets your sense of humour. But I think, mainly coming from me and my need to please everyone, we thought it was too niche and not everyone would get the joke. I was wrong, our guests loved it, we loved it. Steve as is normally the case, in his infinite quiet wisdom was right.
It’s a very strange thing, picking a song to define a relationship. Especially if you don’t have the same taste, it can make you feel inadequate as a couple. How can you get married if you don’t have a song?!? DOOMED! But I can tell you it’s a much stranger feeling to dance, in front of everyone you know and love, to a song you are not really feeling. You feel stiff and not in sync.
So my advice would be, like most things to do with your wedding, don’t think too much, it’s just a moment and it does not define your relationship or your day. If you don’t have a “song” think about films you love, go old school or silly, pick something that you can dance to and invite everyone up. And really when all is said and done, you don’t have to have a traditional first dance. If it’s not your thing don’t do it. Your day should focus on what makes you happy and brings you joy.
Happy dancing! xxx